Self-Injury is an addiction.. it’s not a phase.. it’s not just for attention.. it’s not just .. whatever the hell you think.. Are there some that probably do it to fit in, to get attention? yes, but it’s not the majority of people who SI. Most of us Hide what we do.. it’s a way of dealing with overwhelming stress and feelings we can’t get out any other way. It’s a way to cope so that we can pretend that nothing is wrong and fit into the little boxes that we’re assigned.It’s a way to remind ourselves that we’re alive, and will go on living at least for a few more hours.

   HOW DARE YOU self-serving stupid little cunts, treat it like a joke. It’s not a joke.. it’s not a nice place to be in and it sure as hades isn’t a way someone would prefer to cope with things.. but the wonderful thing about hiding is that you don’t get treatment because no one knows what’s going on.. and if they do know.. thanks to shits like you, they don’t know how to handle it other than ignore it. There have been 2 decent books written in the last several years about self-injury.. neither of them have an accurate estimation of the number of people that SI.. and no one probbaly will. If someone goes to a counselor for help and mentions SI you want to take a guess at the reaction they get? Either immediate commitment, ignored, or told that they’re just hysterical and it’ll pass if you pay the counselor enough money . None of which will happen. or really help. The first just usually makes the person shut down til they’re out of the hospital and then they go into immediate crisis and probably cut worse than they have in months.. , the second, makes them feel like they nor the issues they have or important.. and third usually reinforces the tapes and thinking that cause the self-injurious behavior in the first place.

How do I know this? I’ve taken part in self-injurious behaviors of one variety or another for over 30 years. I’ve cut,  on at least occasion enough to make 30 year veteran cop blanche and almost pass out. I’ve banged my hands on walls, had “accidents” .. (trashed three BMX bikes in as many months between flipping them, hitting cars, and somehow flipping myself off the bike on a speed bump), falling, opening scabs.. anything I could do to see blood, and feel pain.  I’ve cut using everything from broken glass, linoleum, razor blades, knives, x-acto knives, anything that had an edge that I could conceivably use.. I did it.. and for most of those 30 years.. I was labeled “accident-prone”, “clumsy”, and lots of other labels to disregard what was going on.. no one EVER saw the cuts, the words that were carved in my legs, none of it.. they didn’t want to..

Now, before anyone gets their panties in a wad saying that “she’s just mental, or has problems and doesn’t fit in”. You’re right.. I don’t fit in.. I have an IQ over 140, I have not one but two bachelor’s degrees, and am going to graduate school in NURSING soon. I maintain full time employment, no criminal record (can most of you good old boys/girls say that?), and I survive and work on healing myself and the world around me the best ways I know how.